The Search For Peace

I have been dealing with a lot of anger over the last few days. It has been consuming me. I am embarrassed to even bring up the topic because I feel like there is a misconception that women should always be petite, happy beings. But, alas, I am human.

I am angry that our precious baby was taken from us so soon. There is a lot of inner turmoil over the fact that I was molested as a child. I am frustrated and worried about our financial state right now. Another source of anger is that I have so many health issues and very rarely do any of them get resolved. I am even grouchy that today is my birthday because I am so. terribly. old.

This feeling is not one that I am comfortable with. I need to learn ways to deal with it and to bring more peace into my life. That is why I decided to see what the Bible has to say about it. I know that reading His Word is the best way to deal with the issues in my life.

So, here is what I found on the topic:

My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. James 1:19-20

When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day. Ephesians 4:26

A gentle answer will calm a person's anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger. Proverbs 15:1

Yes, if you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins. Matthew 6:14

Patient people have great understanding, but people with quick tempers show their foolishness. Proverbs 14:29

Patience is better than strength. Controlling your temper is better than capturing a city. Proverbs 16:32

Don't become angry quickly, because getting angry is foolish. Ecclesiastes 7:9

My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with His anger. It is written: "I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them," says the Lord. Romans 12:19

If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink. Doing this will be like pouring burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you. Proverbs 25:21-22

We know that God said, "I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them." And He also said, "The Lord will judge His people." Hebrews 10:30

Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ. Ephesians 4:31-32

But I tell you, if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be judged. If you say bad things to a brother or sister, you will be judged by the council. And if you call someone a fool, you will be in danger of the fire of hell. So when you offer your gift to God at the altar, and you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there at the altar. Go and make peace with that person, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:22-24

Wise people are careful and stay out of trouble, but fools are careless and quick to act. Someone with a quick temper does foolish things, but someone with understanding remains calm. Proverbs 14:16-17

But now also put these things out of your life: anger, bad temper, doing or saying things to hurt others, and using evil words when you talk. Colossians 3:8

Don't get angry. Don't be upset; it only leads to trouble. Psalm 37:8

There is lots of good advice here! I think I need to take a step back and look at each situation realistically. I tend to get overwhelmed so quickly and not use my rational mind. I also need to realize that these are issues that are not anyone's fault. Last night, I took a lot of my anger out on my husband, and I deeply regret it.

I hope that I am on the path to more peace in my life. I want that for me and for my family. We all deserve it. I need to keep in mind that it takes time and patience. We'll get there...

In Awe Of Him

Due to some health problems that I've had for around eight years, I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago. The surgery went well. I am so thankful for that. The recovery, on the other hand, has been a lot harder than I expected it would be. During the painful and long days, the Lord has remained faithful. I wrote this for Him:

The days are long, Oh Lord. The nights are even longer. The pain in my body takes my breath away. I feel so very tired and weak. At night, the loneliness envelops me. I cry out to you, my Father, and you hear me.

My body aches, but I know that means you are bringing healing. The space in my days is often empty, which means there is more time to spend with you. I talk to you and share the ups and downs of my days. I read your Word and it comforts me. The Bible reminds me that you will never leave me alone. Your presence is powerful. I know your arms are around me as I try to fall into a peaceful slumber.

What would I do without you, Lord? I would have no hope for a better tomorrow. Without you, I would not know the comfort of a father. Life without your gentle hand guiding me would be a rough path. I would not be in awe of you every time that I saw a rainbow or a newborn baby. A day spent in the beauty of all you created would be "just another day." I cannot imagine a life like that.

Thank you, Father, for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for listening to me whine on the hard days and rejoicing with me on the wonderful days. You are the constant in my life that I was always searching for. I am so glad that I found you.